Din blog yesterday coz there's nth to blog abt. I just stayed home and slack. Coz no money liao cannot go out and watch movie with the rest of my classmates.. *sIGhx* Went for a jog at nite coz I really can't stand the boredom at home, furthermore I need a little time alone to sort out my thoughts too. When one is feeling down, perhaps a little exercise can help one to cheer up. (I suppose)

Woke up damn early todae and went school as usual. Things went on as usual, only that the number of students decreased alot wor. Hahax. After flag-raising, had some pw talk. So bored. I was chatting with eggie all the while, even though we sat right in the middle near the front. =D

Skipped the 10am talk and went for lunch with wy, eggie, rachel, cy, yx, zg. Ya.. think that's abt all. Went yoshinoya to eat. Wah.. Long long time since I eat at yoshi. Nice ba, the food is still nice. =) By the way, the ice mango tea is nice!!!! LoLx.

Rushed back school for the clean up thing at noon. We just clean up the canteen while I volunteer to mop the floor. Yes, I wanted to mop the floor. A miracle huh, fancy seeing me wanting to volunteer myself for chore. Nvm lah, I just like to mop floor, coz fun mah. In the end Luther and I had a hard time trying to mop the floor coz ppl juz keep walking ard without even bothering that we had just mopped the place. So when yx came to ask me if I want to exchange with him, of coz I agreed!!! =D Wahahx. After awhile we just slacked.

Saw Mr Ho at the canteen, telling some of my classmates their maths marks. Of coz I wanted to know. No matter how scared I was, it is still better to know my results first before taking the real paper back on monday. (In case I might break down into tears in school or even die of heart failure.) So I asked, I just passed only. But the overall mark plus JCT results I might not pass at all.. Haix.. Accept my fate lor. Wat to do? Exam also over le, crying won't bring back my marks, but I still can't help feeling upset.

After that went bugis with eggie and rachel. Shopped ard. Den went mos burger for milk shake. I don't know if it is due to the fact that I lost contact with the outside world for too long or wat, but I just felt that everything tastes sooooo nice.. Hahahx.. Sounds like some mountain turtle. =X The next thing I am aiming is of coz .... my favourite AJiSeN rAmEN!!! But then.. sighX.. some things changed and I doubt I will get a chance to anyway. Ok le lah, that's all for today. Gtg liaox. Type quite a long entry le. Hahax. May I wake up from my nightmare.

I really feel like crying. Yes, I know exams are finally over but I can't help feeling upset over it. This time I am going to flunk EVERYTHING. Yes, everything. Each and every subject. It seems like I am going back to history to sec4 prelims when I studied like mad but get no results.

This morning had my last paper and as usual I also duno wad I was doing. This is terrible. Real terrible. None of my subjects can make it. Shit! After the paper went out with my classmates to go out eat sakae sushi and walk ard town. Finally after weeks of mugging I got the chance to go town again. But this time I dun feel as cheerful as last time. Saw many people I knew at orchard. Reached home at ard 8pm.

Had a fun day outside. Thx to all my friends. But once I reached home the feeling of fear rushed up to me again. I am really v afraid of failing promos, I duno wad will I do after I fail. On the outside I can appear that nth had happened, but deep inside me I also duno wad am I thinking. When I log online and saw pooinE's tag msg, I juz feel like crying already. Thx for keeping my accompanying today to all my classmates. Perhaps I might leave the class next yr, either retained or kicked out of school. I really duno wad to do, life become so scary. Even 'o' levels aren't as frightening as now. How I wish I can just fall into deep sleep and never wake up again... Can someone tell me that everything's gonna be alright??? Will everything become alright after a good night sleep???

Woke up especially early today. At around 9am. Wahaha.. Seldom do I wake up so early on a saturday. Maybe partly due to the fact that I slept early last nite. I slept at 11pm after saying goodbye to my classmates online and my DaRLing~ =P

Didn't study anything for the whole day. Yes I know I still have chemistry exam on monday. I just can't help but feel like to give up for the exam. Coz I know the outcome of the exam already. So even if I try to study for it, I won't be able to pass also. That is why I dun really feel like studying.

Can someone please tell me that everything will turn out fine? Can someone please tell me this is only a nightmare.. And everything will be ok once I wake up from this nightmare.. I really cannot stand it.. I am really too stupid already. No matter how much I study, I can only stare at the exam paper when I sit for it. Haix. Am I really an idiot? Everything also not going on fine. I just feel like giving up, I no longer have the energy to face one more paper... I can only pray that I can finish my last paper without breaking down.

I think I should not continue blogging anymore. Bye

After taking 4 papers since wednesday, my brain is really really drained. I am not too sure if I have the energy to study for monday's paper or to just sit there to take the paper. =S

Still got chemistry paper on monday. The past papers are really sucky? Or maybe I tink I am too stupid already. Maths paper was initially quite ok, but as I continued doing, I really duno how to do. Physics was even more worse. I practically just stared at the paper. I skipped those questions that I duno how to answer, den in the end I realised I didn't really finish any question. =S GP paper was like.. my brain is numb. Its really a weird feeling, I've nv felt this way before, my brain just numb there and refuse to listen to my command. Well.. Wad's wrong?

Today had LEP paper. I really did studied for it!!!!! I studied very hard, I even woke up at 7am today just to study. I nv did all these before, but when I was sitting for the paper, I just can't seem to remember anything that I studied. After my paper, I went out wif my classmates to eat LJS. On the way to ljs, Rachel fell and hurt her knee. Aiyo, she still nv tell us and keep quiet when there's so much blood oozing out from her wound. Is that the word? I am not sure also. She still insisted that she can jump around.. DotX.. Had a fun time at ljs laughing.

Took bus 26 home as usual. My brain must be functioning on its own without listening to my command again. Is crying more tiring or when your nose is sour but you just can't cry? Haix. It depends on the individual I suppose. Life in jc is really too difficult for me. I really wonder if I should just leave. Perhaps it was a wrong choice in the first place. I am very tired already. I just have one more paper to go, I must not give up. I must study for it, I must not be a weakling at this point of time. Life will still go on. Hopefully I can make up my mind where to go if I can't pass my promos.

Shall blog when I am feeling better.

What a time to come and blog. =S Intended to go back sch for maths lesson, but then I duno who's going and who's not, so I last min decide not to go. I went for morning walk with my mama plus breakfast. =) Had some green noodles this morning and went NTUC to stock up some stuff for mugging at home. Bought a box of chocolate drink and yogurt and some sweets. hEhEx.

Den my mama trying to get info out from me. She asked abt who's my "GUYFRIEND" now. Wahahax.. I told her no one, she gave me that weird look. After asking from her, I realise that she found out abt my guyfriend coz she saw the neoprint we took. But to my horror, who she saw was Liang Yuan, not Wee Kim. Hohox. I kept thinking that the neoprint she saw was the one I took with weekim. =X She keep asking if that guy is older than me not, I told her not, only taller than me. Little did I know I told her abt weekim indirectly. =X *ShitX* I must be blur from the lack of sleep. DuMb me!!!!! Obviously she continued asking lor, nth much. I told her why we broke up. She also nv say anything much. I even leaked out by mistake that his whole family saw me before, little did I realise that I was telling her I WENT HIS HSE BEFORE!!! Arhx.. luckily she did not ask anymore, else I might have leaked every single little thing out to her.

What took me by surprise was that she did not mind me going to his hse and that she did not mind talking abt all these stuffs with me. I knew she is more open-minded, but then I wasn't so sure that I can share so much things with her. =X Mum is always so weird, she is v nice to me lately, maybe due to the reason that exam is drawing near and she sees that I am always studying. =) I luV my mAmA.. HaHax, sounds so mushy but I really luv her. Despite the fact I do hate her when she nag and scold me.

I think I should end here le.. I should go study and not disappoint mama already.. =)

Today is sunday, and I have 3 more days to promos. Oh my god!! I really don't have enough time to study liaox. =( Why am I so slow? Somemore when I study I don't even know whether did I memorise all those info in my brain?? My brain is so saturated now, just like Rita Wong wan us to say. But that doesn't mean that I studied alot of info, but its juz that my brain is too small. =S LoLx.

Sometimes alone in the night, I will keep thinking of stuffs. I know it isn't the right time to let my thoughts run wild, but I can't control myself also. I've come to realise one point I like to take note of: It isn't the truth that hurts us but our thoughts that hurt us. Most of the time truth isn't as hurting as we thought it will be, but it's juz that we keep thinking abt it and it will end up hurting us. I don't know abt other ppl, but at least it is like that for me.

I found out that I have been talking a lot of weird things in my blog recently, perhaps I am really very tired from studying that's why I always come online to blog abt all these strange things. =D Hahax.

Ok le lahx, I think I should end my blog entry here, taTax.. Maybe blog more tml or later today. =) *oFf To StUdY*

Something to add on to the previous entry. I am trying to be nice to everyone. But it doesn't seem to be easy, coz I get IGNORED. What the.. Perhaps its juz retribution, but I think I should change my resolution. That is to treat those who are worth it nice, and IGNORE those who are seriously not worth my effort.

This part is specially dedicated to someone(who may or may not read this): Dun think I apologize then u tink u r some big shot and can ignore me or show ur hostility towards me. Thank you for letting me learn the lesson of not letting myself be a fool. I AM NOT TRYING TO SAVE WHATEVER FRIENDSHIP WE HAD, I JUZ WANTED TO BE NICE AND CONTROL MY TEMPER. One more impt thing: DUN comment that I am childish after reading this part. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.