BaCk. I cooked instant noodles juz now after I went offline. Cooked curry chicken flavor noodles. Put an egg into the noodles but they still dun taste nice. -.- ha|z.. h0w sad. Me juz here to express my feelings.. coz there's no one listening to me grumble.

I m still upset over my results. *sAdzZz* Dun ask me y nor scold me stupid. I juz cant get over it. I epxected my maths to do better than they r now.. But both maths disappoint me.. Ha|Z.. Somemore wif nth to do at home and no where to go, the more I will tink abt it man... I'm seriously v tired n0w.. mentally I mean. I dun dare 2 sae my maths was good, but I spent hrs on it.. ha|z.. nvm nvm.. I shld juz let it pass...

Those results I expected to b better did not prove me right. But those I din expect to do well actually did. Like Eng, Combined Humanities, Geography, Higher Chinese, Physics. Ha|.. Nv in my 10yrs of education had I done well for english. In CCHSM, my best english grade was onli b4 or b3?? I would nv dare expect an A2 ... But.. Ha|z.. I rather I din do as well for english n do better for my maths?

My tot this two daes is tt human beings are nv satisfy = human r greedy. Its really a fact. My frenz and I dun seem 2 b happy wif our results.. But if our results were exchanged wif other ppl.. they wld b v happi.. not grumbling like us.. Izzit bcoz of my sch tt it made us v uptight over our results? Or izzit our greed ? I duno.. I really duno. To us, our grades are not good, but to others, ours r ok already. I seriously tink we r too greedy.. When I got 19 for prelims, I was upset. VERY indeed. But my life still went on. Now tt I gotten better results, I m still upset. Y izzit so? Ha|z.. Y can't I appreciate my results? I tink I ought to learn to b contented.

All my frenz in msn kept msging me asking wad's my result. I m quite of sick already. I dun mind my classmates asking, but those.. those not so close frenz also ask? Makes me sorta fed up already. Y r ppl so concerned abt how others fare? Ha|z..

I tink I grumbled enuf already lia0z la.. I shld end here. Or else other ppl will juz stop visiting my blog ... TaTaZ..

Todae's Saturday. It was supposed to b a dae where all go out and haf fun. After all, our results are out. Whether did we do well or not, we shld celebrate!! As we no longer need to WaIt.. But mE... My saturdae was spent at home. Nv even stepped out of hse at all for the whole dae. How sad.

This morning woke up at ard 8+am, intending to go some jc and asked abt the l1r5 intake. But I was too tired already. I din wan to get out of my comfy bed at all.~ So I went back to slp.. telling my mum I can still go on mondae. I woke up again at 1pm. Wahahaz.. h0w pig. Woke up watched cartoon, come online, etc... Ate lunch at ard 3pm. Had wanton noodles. Not v nice, wad else do I wan ritE?

Watched more tv. Mum went out to watch cantonese opera. Ha|Z.. Leaving me and kor at home wif no dinner. Till now I still haven eaten dinner. Not hungry yet. Nth 2 eat. Ha|Z.. No one wanted to go out either.. So I cant find anyone for dinner lor. Wadeva la.. Mayb later den go cook instant noodles and eat lor. =(.. Wad a bad weekend.. Ha|z... Being stuck at home is already a misfortune, having no food to eat is even worse.. Y m I treated tis wae? It feels like I had done real bad for my o lvls.. I feel like crying againz.. Ha|z..

Life juz sux to the core. B4 results are out, I wan them to b out sooner. Now tt they r out, I m stuck at home, wifout a life! Wad's this... I feel realli bored. Bored to tears already. Whole saturdae stuck at home wifout anything to do.. Wahahaz.. I tink I go off to cook noodles and eat already lahz.. Ha|Z.. tAtAz..

Got back results todae. Before getting results I met weekim to eat LJS first. But I nv eat, coz mama bought f00d f0r me.. I juz wan someone to pei me back into the sch. I m afraid to walk into sch alone ma...

Ok, den by time we went back sch alot ppl there already. =(.. Haiz.. Duno y all others go back so fasT? I feel v v v scared.. When Mr Yue start toking abt analysis, finally he said physics 100% pasS!!!!! I was cheering like maD! I was praying not to fail my physics.. Heng really nv..

Den release results lia0z.. They asked us to sit according to our O lvl index nos.. I was the fourth to take my results.. I duno y I kept tinking abt my l1r5.. Den I start to cry.. I really cry.. I told myself not to .. But really v sad n scared.. LiLi and Grace told me not to cry.. But I only cry more badly.. Ha|.. Den my turn to take result the pen I took to sign the paper actually fell. Mr chua asked if I was nervous. I told him VERY... Den he told me no need so nervous. I asked him wad's my grade for phy. He told me "thrEE..." it was accompanied wif a smile.. =) ThAnX MR cHuA!!

When I see my results.. I cried again.. I walked to take a seat and cried.. I duno wad 2 do....

Eng : A2
Higher Chinese : A2
E Maths : A2
A Maths : A2
Combined Humanities : A2
Geography : A2
Physics : B3
Chemistry : B3

I really duno wad to do... Dun scold me.. I tot I will get A1 for e maths.. I cried for maths.. Nth else matters except maths... I duno wad 2 do.. No one realli saw me cry, no one bothered much.. Den weekim came to console me.. I can only cry harder.. My maths.. We walked out of audi, after tt grace came out also.. She hugged me.. ThAnX gRaCe.. Tt's a nice hug.. Called mum, she told me not 2 b sad.. Dad called asking if I failed anything.. *sIghZ* I cried for a long time.. b4 i stop.. It sound stupid 2 cry.. But.. Ha|z..

After tt walked out wif wy, huiling, etc. I realli v sad..Ha|z.. After tt went out wif weekim 2 orchard.. ThAnx 4 keeping me company.. I tink nth much to update.. Gtg, ByEByE..

Abt 17 more hrs and O lvls results will b released already. I duno wad 2 sae now. Seriously I juz feel like crying. Y? I duno, I juz dun hope to flunk my o lvls. Neither do I wan 2 get 19 again.. If i do, all I will do is stand down there and cry.. I dun wish 2 update abt todae already.. Mayb tml den update.. And hope I can bring in good news tml.. =).....

nIteZ..

Ok, me back to update abt todae. Todae I din go sch. Pon lia0z la.. Results coming out on fridae. Still got mood go mehz? Ha|z.. I tink I m not going to do well for it. Nvm, I shld not tink so much already. Neither do others wan to hear me nag. So I gonna tok abt my dae only.

Woke up at ard 12pm.. HaHAz... Slp alot la.. Abt 9hrs.. Still not enuf u noe.. =) Very tired when I wake up. But going out ma, so can't slp anymore. Went out wif weekim at ard 2.30pm.. He finally got me rose.. Really is one stalk. Nvm, got rose I already v happy lia0z. Wh0 cares if it is one or 12? =) It's nicely dyed and really is chi0... HaHaz..

We went Cineleisure to eat pasta mania. Todae ate sth more nice than wad I ate last week. Dun ask me y i keep going back 2 eat pasta, I seem to like pasta now? hEhEz.. Although not v nice, but I still like them lor.. Unless I learn how to cook them myself.. Or else I will keep going back to eat. =) L0lz.. but todae the food not bad, the mushroom soup also not bad. Though not as nice as Cafe Cartel, but can already..

Eat finish we walked to heeren and i bought candy mix frm mini mix. Tt's all. Later went home. Nth else. Todae I tok more wif him already. Coz I tink we going back to being frenz. It feels more better this wae. I dun realli wish 2 go back being together lia0z.. Juz meet up for lunch or dinner sometimes can already... Tt's more than enuf.. Sometimes I tink being frenz is better than being lovers. At least we no longer haf tt kind of "thing" tying us down. We can do wad we like, wifout fear of offending the other party.. HaHaz.. Ok lah, dun tok nonsense here..

Actually tt's abt all for the dae.. I going watch tv soon... BYez..

I came in to update abt tuesdae. But sadly, my keyboard is still not repaired yet. =(.. I doubt it can b repaired already.. Ha|Z.. My poor keyboard...

Yesterdae I din go for morning geo lecture. Huiling and I went to serangoon central to eat MAC breakfast. Huiling had susage mcmuffin wif egg meal while I ate hotcakes meal. We ate for abt an hr, chatted and critcised abt the geo lecturer. =D ... l0lz.. Poor Miss Then. But she realli is too hostile to our class ma.. who cares.. After tt huiling wanted to eat another set of hotcakes, but she scare she can't finish. So i shared wif her. We each haf one and a half of hotcake. I could onli eat half a hotcake and I m realli full to the brim already. Ate too much. Mondae's seoul garden also haven fully digest yet. Wahahaz...

Abt 8.45pm, we made our wae back into the sch. Nobody suspected us. We juz went into the canteen like nth.. Saw our classmates and said hi to some of them b4 we head for our gp tutorial room. GP lesson passed quite swiftly, after tt was Maths lecture. Very boring l0r.. Talked abt AP and GP.. Made me feel like slping.. =X.. *yAwNz* Den our CT period yesterdae was watching movie!!! YeAhZ! Watched Ju-on pre... I duno how to spell tt word. Sorri. But its the Ju-0n b4 ju-0n 1. Kenny brought in alot of crashers into our class.. Tink it made our CT very unhappy lor.. =S He still let us continue watching it but his face was abit of black already. He can scold them if he dun like.. But I don't understand y he din ? He kept quiet abt the whole incident.

After tt was dismissal lia0z.. Huiling and me went to suntec to eat Cafe Cartel. It's not bad la.. But abit of normal the food. We ate a total of $15 lidat for each person. The soup : cream of mushroom was nice, but other than tt the fish n chips were normal kind. Nth special abt it l0r. Guess nxt time I wun eat Cafe Cartel or rather I wun eat fish n chips frm them. Unless I m going wif my mum, tt's a diff story. Coz now i spent alot of money on food. So did huiling. I wonder how r we going 2 survive our rest of the week.. WaHaHaz...

After tt we walked ard suntec and I bought sth frm B.I.R.D a.k.a. Nike shop. Actually other than tt nth else already lor.. Went home lia0z.. Den at home watched tv.. Tt's all abt yesterdae.. LAter den update abt todae.. TaTAz..

Todae wun update lia0z.. My keyboard spoil.. I now using old keyboard. Tml den update abt my dae. Hope my keyboard will b fixed by then.. NitEz..

Hoho, its the new start of a week again. =) Heng todae not much of mondae blues. Very fun todAe!!! HaHaz.. From the start, I woke up late at ard 6.40am... I was rushing like mad lor.. I still need to bath mahz. Haiz, duno y lor, I can actually oversleep frm all my alarm clocks. I tried to rush to sch but I was still late wif grace. Den latecomers haf to sae pledge first b4 they let us leave.. How lenient l0r.. In cchsm u nv get away wif being late. The consequence is very horrible lor. =S They make u do physical exercises and stay for detention.. In JC, they realli treat us like real adults? =)

After tt first period is PE. Teachers were v angry wif us for being late. So they made us carry our bags and run over to basketball court within 3 mins. =|... They are realli sick teachers lorz.. Cant stand them at all.. HaHAz.. Made us run ard like some idiot early morning of mondae.. They not scared of being cursed by students? =X Den we had our netball teaching session again. Its FUN!!! I m not sure abt the feelings of my classmates, but I definitely enjoy teaching it alot. After all, its wad I like to play, haf interest in. Abt 9.45am, we had a match wif the other team. As expected we lost, they r really v tall and our defence wasn't really strong. I was pushed by this small guy all the time =S... He treat is as if I owe him money lidat, keep marking me and PUSH me lor.. I noe u r supposed to mark me, but den can leave out the pushing right? I hurt my knees twice, and fell hard on the ground the 3rd time. I was v frustrated wif them for playing so rough lor. But afterall, its a game Heez..

I enjoyed my PE alot todae wor.. =) But GP lesson wasn't as nice. We had to hand in an essay by todae. As huiling and me were real slow, we cant finish it by GP lesson. So we went for econs lecture and started doing our essay sercretly. Wahahaz... We even skipped maths tutorial to do our essays. We finished it liao den pass up and we left already. On our way out, we saw our classmates wif a bdae cake for one of my FEMALE classmate. Its so unfair. Y she get a cake but not me nor huiling? Mayb coz she pretty lor.. Ha|z.. SaddeniNg! My class guys are really biased.. Some gal's bdae they went get a cake, but when another gal need ppl to send her home.. No one bothered.. *What's the world coming to? Only beauty matters?*

Forget abt it already la. Huiling and me headed bugis to eat Seoul Garden. Its cheap lor. Total abt $13 only wif freeflow of drinks hAhAz.. We started eating frm abt 2pm, we went off abt 5pm. Realy is v fun there... Eat till I full till death... Ate ALOT ALOT ALOT todae.. I wondered haf I becum a pig lia0z.. Even I'm amazed wif my own appetite. Wahahaz.. I tink I scared Huiling lia0z.. After tt juz walked ard for awhile and went home le.. Bought two pens also. TT's abt all lia0z.. Realy is a fun m0ndae.. =)

Ok le la, I m tired le. Gtg slp liaoz.. nITEz..

It was a boring sundae. I stayed home the whole afternoon. Woke up ard 1pm.. haAz.. Den ate brunch = fried carrot cake. Mama buy wan. Later watch abit tv and nth else le.. Abt 3pm lidat, I was v upset.. Due to some reason la.. den i went lie on bed and rest lor.. Suddenly i feel like the whole world is spinning lidat. I tot it was my imagination coz i was upset mahz.. After awhile my kor came into the room and asked me do I feel the shaking? Hahaz.. Den I realised tt the bed is really shaking!!! =D.. I was too upset and tot I was having illusions already la. How blur of me.

My kor v funny. He said we shld leave the hse in case.. =) Den he started to dress up liaoz lor. But awhile more the shaking stopped, so we continue wif our tv and games.. l0lz.. Abt 4pm my kor oso go out le. B4 he go out, he still tell me if anymore shaking I muz take care and go out lor. =) Sweet of him ba.. Not all the time also so nice to me wor.. I tot he din really bother much abt me.

Weekim smsed me asked if I was willing to go out wif him for the last dinner. I went out wif him. I still had hopes tt perhaps he will gif me wad I want? *ReaL rOsE* Even a stalk is enuf. I was actually looking out for any signs he show tt he wan to salvage the relationship? I duno la. Duno wad I m looking for also. I guess the most impt thing I wan is the rose. But when I meet him, I ... I saw nth in his hands. =(.. He didnt get any rose. None at all. I told him several times tt they meant alot to me. But.. I still got disappointed. Wad's his problem? Or izzit my own problem? I duno already. I gif up. I din even wan to tok to him tonite.

We went suntec to eat Pizza Hut. Honestly I dun wish 2 go suntec, but he wun noe also. So I juz shut up. I m no longer a fan of pizza hut also.. I wld prefer Pasta Mania n0w.. But.. nvm la.. He wun noe.. He wun bother much either. He offered to pay for my share. I insisted to pay him back. I din wan to owe him. Neither is it useful to treat me now. Y did he treat me onli when we r over? It seems pointless already lorz.. After he din gif me any rose, nth else matters.. Izzit tt I demand too much? I noe u all will tink if he din treat me todae I will complain tt he is being stingy again. But.. ok lah, I oso duno wad I wanted all along. I'm tired already lor.. To tink of so much tings..

Wad am I really hoping for? I know all I yearn for is roses.. A stalk will do. It hurts 2 c others having it on v dae but not me.. Nvm, a week passed so I shall not dwell over it anymore. After dinner we went home. I din bother 2 sae bye 2 him anymore. I dun wish 2 see him anymore also.

0k Lia0z lahz.. its late le.. i gtg lia0z.. dun wish 2 update anymore liaoz.. nitEz..

Another enjoyable weekend.. =) My class had a class outing todae. I meet Huiling at parkway at ard 2pm. The rest of my classmates came at ard 3pm. Den we head over to giant to buy food and tidbits. After tt we walked to ECP and enjoy lor. We ate some tidbits b4 heading to rent bicycles. I duno how to ride a bike, huiling had 2 teach me how. HaHa.. sorry to her la, kept making her wait for me. =S .. Luckily i nv fell todae.. l0lz..

Huiling noe how to ride bike ma, den she went riding ard for awhile .. Me waited for her while trying to learn how to balance. But den, it was very bad for me. The bike seems to b too high lor.. sAd lehz.. I shld haf gotten a double bike wif her. She went awae for v long.. I was waiting for her... den i felt v sad all of a sudden. Coz I felt lost lor.. i din c any of my classmates ard, neither did i see huiling.. so i was abt to cry lia0z.. haAz.. h0w pathetic of me. We play until 6.30pm to return the bikes.. Well, Wai Ling learnt how to ride a bike while i still duno how 2.. =D I oso hurt my leg.. duno wad happened, juz got a blue black. hahaZ..

Wai Ling's bag was stained wif chain oil. Her bag is Kipling bag plus its yellow in color so v easy to dirty. She was v sad.. n started to clean it .. I saw her sobbing already.. I feel sad for her lor.. Her bag is v ex wan. I duno wad to sae or how can I help.. I juz duno wad to do.. =( .. Hopes she will cheer up wor..

Later, we went for dinner at Marche. Oh well.. there's a long queue there lor.. We waited quite long b4 all of us were emitted into the restuarant. I ate Rosti.. not sure of spelling.. sth lidat la. Quite ok la.. not sae v delicious also. hahaZ.. Wanted to eat the pasta but quite ex... so nv eat liaoz lor. After we finish eating, we started toking nonsense and ghost stories.. It was realli an enjoyable nite out.. =) realli sad to noe we r gonna split soon ..

Ard 10pm, we went home. One of my classmate was v scared by those ghost stories and her face was pale. Huiling and me volunteered to accompany her home .. Well, those guys in our class isn't gentlemen enuf? hahaz.. duno lah, but i tink wif ppl to acc her home she wun feel so scare? After all, we stay quite near to her also .. Took mrt wif her to enous b4 we head home.. Reached home already 11+ li0az.. quite tired.. but realli a fun dae todae..

I realli start to like my class already.. Its realli sweet of them to organise a class outing lor.. Even those quiet guys in my class came.. hahaz.. I tink i m tired already.. shld go slp lia0z.. nitEz..

Todae's Thursday. PE dae. Boring. Hahaz.. 1st lesson todae was geo tutorial. tt miss then was very funny. she put on some makeup todae. to me it seems like she juz got her eyebrows trimmed. Why? Coz her eyebrows look v funny lor. L0lz.. i n0e i shld n0t luff at her, but even my classmate said she look like "la bi xiao xin".. =D .. She also put on some blusher, i still tink she look like over-makeup liaoz. Her blusher looked too pink while her eyebrows din seem 2 haf been drawn properly. Ok, i m not some pro in makeup, so i shall shut up. =X HaHax..

Huiling and i pon geo lecture and pe todae.. hahaz.. we din wan go to tt boring human geo lecture, so we went off lor. =) we went over to orchard cineleisure and ate pasta mania. quite not bad la. not v ex too. we saw some cchsm students. We were really v curious so we asked one of them y they so early todae. She told us they got x-country todae.. wahahaZ... I tot some half dae off.. cHeYz.. After we finish eating, we walked to heeren, den to far east, taka.. almost anywhere we can find la.. Den my bag was v heavy, so i requested we go yoshi and sit lor. Me bought a drink and read mag while huiling do maths.. =) Den we started toking abt results releasing soon.. and how many pts.. etc.. very stress lor.. I m v afraid i wun do well. On one hand, I wan to get pts low enuf to go into sci stream of nyjc. But on the other, I wan to get better pts.. Ha|x.. I m afraid of doing badly. But wad to do? Its all fate lor..

We stayed there till abt 5+pm den we leave and head home. HaHaz.. Took mrt to toa payoh, saw alot of ppl there. I mean cchsm students. I guess their x-country juz ended? HaHaz.. Very weird, I wished I can go back to being a Chung Cheng student, I juz miss those nice teachers and most of all, mrs tan.. Not only tt, I miss all my classmates and frenz.. not tt the environment in NY is not nice, but juz tt.. I m not used to it... =|..

There's a phy geo test tml. I still haven study. Dun intend to study. Juz want to flunk it liaoz.. I dun like geo anymore.. the teacher miss then is abit boring.. ha|z.. V tired already.. feel like slping liaoz..ok le la.. i shall go watch tv now. cYaZ..

Yesterdae nv update. Very tired to do so. =S.. Mondae and Tuesdae are the two daes I dun like..Hahaz.. Coz sch ends quite of late. But todae we ended 1.10pm. Tt's considered early wor. =) Nth much happened todae, only tt i went home directly after sch and slp.. Tired l0r. Yesterdae i slept at ard 2am. Den wake up at 7pm to watch tv and haf dinner lor. Nth much already.

Read WY's comment, she said she also dun like stingy guys.. HeEx.. It made me wonder.. M i very materialistic? I do hope I m not. I admit I love to receive roses on V dae. But on other aspects I m not as money-minded as I was last time. A scenario: Simple dinner and movie + popcorn. One yr ago if a guy only pay for my movie tix and popcorn but not dinner, he is considered stingy to me. Several mths ago, *u-know-who* nv pay for anything, but I accepted it. To me, love doesn't include money. I admit I was a very bad gf last time. But when it comes to weekim, everything changed. Arh, I m going out of point. I din want to tok abt weekim. My point is that aquarius ppl are not materialistic if they r truly serious in a relationship.

Actually, will my life be better if I m still the old materialistic me? I hardly complained abt weekim being stingy (or not my ideal kind).. Coz I know I shouldn't be picky and unreasonable. After all, I don't really noe wad's the definition of stingy. Maybe I should sae weekim isn't stingy, juz tt he is not wad i liked last time. Money is not the only matter. Our interests also clashes, I m a 100% horror movie lover. I dun wish 2 miss any nice horror movies ard. But den, he is more of those kind who dun spend much on movies. He changed alot due to me. I tink its not fair to him. He should haf a life he likes, not I like.

Ok sorry, I went out of point again. I m not going to talk abt the past. I juz wan to forget abt this relationship sooner. Get back to my life and concentrate on other areas of my life. Somehow I regret my decision of not getting back together coz we juz spent too much time together and its hard to adapt to life wifout him. But I know its not use getting back together. After all, one week has passed since we broke up. I m now more happy tt I got back closer to frenz.

By the wae, huiling and me gave out belated v-dae presents 2 our classmates. Almost everyone ate the lollipop during econs class todae. I felt happy to see tt my classmates do enjoy the present. =) Actually, life is simple and happiness can be found easily. The only problem lies wif human greed.

The feeling of like starts frm the ears. The feeling of love starts frm the eyes. So if u stop liking someone, all u need to do is cover ur ears. But if u try to close ur eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in ur hrt forever. Tears had dried. But feelings remained. I wonder how long will it take for those feelings and loneliness to go awae eventually. I'm gonna stick ard wif frenz alot these daes, coz I m afraid to b alone and start to tink abt those past. But I will learn to be independent..

Ok le lah, tok enough nonsense. I gtg le.. nITez..

Its a beautiful sundae. nice weather.. But todae i m not gonna talk abt my dae. I m juz going to xpress some of my views and feelings.. So pls bear wif me. =|.. Firstly, I muz apologize to YC. i tink i sounded mean several daes ago in my blog. But i realli dun like to b accused. I seldom like guys wifout them showing some signs beforehand. Tt's cos i dun wan to b rejected? HaHax.. Tt's y i said if i wan to crush i wld rather crush on yanda0s.. Somemore, i juz broken up wif weekim, if he were to misunderstand den hoW? i dun wan to b seen as a fickle-minded person which i m not. So hope YC wun b angry over my mean comments.. =)

This afternoon i was quarreling wif weekim over sms. He was blaming me over the breakup and i was blaming him over it. Arhx.. Sounds very confusing. I tink i better xplain how we broke up. I was complaining abt him choosing TJC over NYJC for 1st 3 mths. I noe he got excellent results, but den he can choose NYJC juz to pei me? At least pei me for 1st 3 mths. I noe i sound very selfish this wae, I tot i din mind him choosing TJC. I tot it wasn't fair for him to gif up going to a good JC juz to pei me, which may not last forever.

Initially it didnt matter too much abt the different schs we went. I was willing to go meet him after sch. I waited for him almost everydae after sch and ate dinner together. Sometimes grace pei me eat lunch 1st b4 we go wait for him at Bedok. Grace stay in Bedok area so she can go home after pei me wait for weekim also. But as time pass, i dare not trouble grace, i chose to wait for him myself. I even nv attend CCA tt i wanted to join juz to make time to meet him. I m not trying to sound like i m noble. I m juz stating facts, perhaps I din realli wan to join any cca for 1st 3 mths.. But wad triggered off a quarrel was when he commented in msn : "me nv ask u pon cca aso ba..". Yes, I noe he nv asked me pon cca. I chose to pon myself. But he need not sae tt statement? All my efforts to wait for him was wasted. And he DID NOT haf early dismissal. His usual dismissal are alwaes late afternoon. =( I alwaes haf 2 wait like idiot for him.. R all those efforts wasteD? I guess so since he said tt. If we were in the same JC I wun need to wait for him...

In the end, we broke up. He tried to xplain tt he will choose the same sch as me after 3 mths. I dun need tt. I dun need his pity. I cant do well and i dun need his pity. During PAE, he said the same ting. He said he is tinking of going NYJC wif me. But he put NYJC as 2nd choice while TJC as 1st choice. Doesn't tt look like an insult to NYJC? He noes v well wif his results he's going to get into TJC, putting NYJC as 2nd choice is juz an xtra chore. He is trying to pretend he did choose NY, hypocrite. I can't believe he realli is so sick. I dun need him to choose NYJC after 3 mths. He said he was onli trying out TJC for 3 mths. Y didn't he said so last time? Only when i bring up tt topic den he tried to pretend again? He said he wan to leave TJC after 3 mths.. But who noes when JAE comes he will do the same ting as he did during PAE again.

Frankly, I rather he waste 3 mths wif me while he go TJC after 3 mths. He has the capability to go there wifout bonus pts even. I dun wan him to waste the rest 1.5yrs wif me, wasting his future. It realli hurts, when I see mingshun and xiuyun in same sch.. I heard frm weekim tt xiuyun's results shld b quite ok.. Meaning she can choose somewhere better? I believe her intention is to pei mingshun.. Why can other ppl do so but not weekim ??? Nvm.. diff ppl got diff priorities.. So brking up is the best solution since no one appreciated my efforts nor willing to sacrifice 3 mths. He is selfish in my eyes. I cant stand selfish and fake ppl also. Yesterdae at siloso beach, I saw mingshun and xiuyun strolling down e beach.. Does anyone realise I m close to tears? Yest was v dae, they can b together coz they in same sch. Given for weekim, he wld nv wake up so early and go sentosa to pei me. Nv, he is juz too selfish to take the effort. All along only I was spending time to wait for him, nv once did he waited for me. Does anyone or even weekim realise tt it hurts to see other couples happily in the same sch? There r other couples in same sch also.. But I only used mingshun and xiuyun's example. I really envy them..

I chose to break up coz I finally woke up frm my dream. I tot everyting was going on fine. I din show any signs of unhapiness though I haf to wait for him all the time. But all my efforts were wasted, he let me realised tt all along i was onli being naive, tinking tt he will noe I m trying to b sweet to meet him almost everydae. I was shattered. I had woken up frm my beautiful dream too.. The love wasn't as perfect as I tot it wld b..

He said he planned nicely liaoz. He will leave TJC and go wherever i choose to go after o lvl results are released. But he overlooked my feelings when he put NYJC as 2nd choice. If he had put other schs i wun b so mad. Coz he's bein fake, pretending to haf chosen NY.. when actually he's bound to go into his 1st choice. It was a lousy plan, it didn't work out well at all.

Ok, I talked abt the reasons we broke up. I only want to talk abt feelings now.. If weekim ever read this, good. If he doesn't, it din matter also. We broke up for abt a week already. I tot we will end up being back together, juz like wad happened last time also. I even tot of giving in when he asked for being back together. But I din. I noe very well wad i wanted. I noe i cant stand a selfish n fake guy. It made me confirm my stand when he was saying we were not as loving last time tt made him chose not to go NYJC wif me. He wasn't willing to gif up anything.

When he gave me presents on fridae, I wasn't any much happier either. Coz I noe I wun receive any real roses this yr. Real roses meant ALOT to me.. Yanfen will noe abt tis. I admit I m abit materialistic, but I realli love the feeling of receiving roses on tt special dae. No matter who izzit frm. Even a stalk would make me contented.. But he gave me plastic roses. Ok, i noe he spent alot of time doing those stuff, but he didn't noe wad I realli wanted.. I wanted to spend tt v dae happily.. Although tings will b more ex on tt dae, but it's a once in a yr ting. So does it hurt so much to spend more on tt particular dae? After all, we dun celebrate month-niversary or other special daes. Not even his or my birthdae. We only ate in a restuarant during xmas. Even so, we went dutch tt dae. Izzit so diff to spend more on food and roses on tt dae? He said his sis said prices of eating in restuarants will go up on valentine's dae. I agree, but its a annually event.. Ppl often said: "If a couple r loving, everydae is v dae." To me, its diff. V dae is a dae we spend exceptionally more than usual.. And we dun go out eat expensive food everydae. Nor does he gif me my fav REAL roses all the time. Even JunWei gif the gal he like roses.. Yanfen will definitely noe I hate ppl who r stingy.. Coz I often complain to her abt such stuffs..

Those memories we had in the past shall b locked in my heart. How long can it last I duno. Yanfen noe how much I hated stingy guys and how desperate I wanted to receive REAL roses on valentine's dae. I had some lousy experience last yr. Tt's y I din wan to patch up. He din noe wad I really wanted. Nor did he try to ask wad I wanted or hoped to receive.. He was selfish all along.. He do things one-sided. He thinks he do the right things, but he shld haf asked for my opinions? Or at least respect me..

I gif up. I dun wan to go back.. When i read his letter, tears flowed uncontrollably.. but he wasn't the kind who will melt when gals cry.. HE WUN GIF A DAMN WHEN GALS CRY.. So I know it's pointless to cry and beg him for real roses on v dae.. Weekim, u asked me once y I aren't wilful or sa jiao to u.. I dun rmb wad I replied.. But the real reason is coz.. I noe it wun work, I noe no matter how i sa jiao, u still haf ur principles, its pointless to ask for something tt is impossible.. Good Luck to ur future in TJC...

I m done wif wad I wan to sae already...

Happy Valentine's Dae to all ~ To all lovers and singles ard.. =) i muz admit my v-dae tis yr is the most wonderful and most unforgettable among my 17 yrs~ =) NYJC had cross country todae at sentosa there. but last nite huiling, grace and jessica said they dun wan to go for the cross country run todae. haiz.. i feel like not going ..but i still decide to go lor. dun feel like staying at home like i said. I overslept this morning and rushed all the wae out. i met junwei and yong cheng at mrt going harborfront together. i dun wan go myself ma, its so saddening lor.. i hate to go ard alone also. so decided to tag along wif them hahAz..

Jun Wei got roses for Chor Huiling. hahaz.. he said it cost $38. quite ex ba, but on v-dae shld b considered quite cheap liaoz? i duno abt rates outside ba. i nv gotten flowers for anyone on v dae. Reached harborfront there liao saw alot of my classmates there.. hEEz.. they started giving me chocos and flowers.. =) i m really touched l0r.. they r realli a bunch of nice ppl.. haA.. tis yr i received the most v dae present lor.

We took shuttle bus into sentosa and soon the race started. i ran and walked, ran and walked. but i din came in among the tops la.. nvm, juz enjoying myself ma. hiak hiak.. Jun wei gave all the gals a saga seed each, calvin gave chocos as well. me also gave chocos, but den diff to pass ard la.. coz not wrapped properly. After the run the whole class went ard sentosa finding places to take pictures for total defence ting. =D l0lz.. it was real fun. we even went to explore an old deserted house.. no la. not so scary. only looks like haunted hse, but it isn't. l0lz.. v fun l0r.. all i can sae is v fun. we crapped alot along the wae too..

After we finish taking pics, we went siloso beach as a class. not realli a class, but most of us went there. only a few went home or elsewhere. The gals were standing on the beach barefooted.. the sand is nice. the scenery is nice too. l0lz.. i wanted to go into water and soak but i din bring extra clothes to change.. but in e end i still went into the waters.. =) heEX.. the water was cooling on a hot weather. i swam wif xinyi and weelai towards another beach nearby. but it was v tiring lor.. initially there were onli 3 gals in the water... after tt there were alot more gals in water.. hahaz.. no one realli cared abt not having xtra clothes to change.

We played in the waters till abt 3pm den we go off le. The guys went off earlier than us. But when we left, weelai, huiling, kaiwei were still there.. The whole bunch of gals went off to burger king and eat. After tt some of us were tired already, so din continue any activities, only went home..

Oh well, todae is realli a fun dae lor. it's a pity jessica and huiling nv come. it would haf been more fun if there were here coz i tink they were the onli ones who nv come.. I doubt i will ever forget v dae 2004. i haf no date, received alot of presents and haf a fun fun dae at siloso beach. Btw, i tink i exposed to too much sun.. my cheeks and nose are red already.. =X..

Todae is valentine's dae eve. Sch dimissal time is early. 12.10pm. but huiling, grace and me pon and left earlier at ard 11.10am. hahaz.. we went orchard taka food court and ate ajisen. but todae their standard like drop already? t0dae like n0t s0 nice t0 eat already.. =( nvm nxt time can try somemore.. hAhAx..

After eating we went walk walk in heeren and shop ard la. halfwae huiling wanted to leave already. so me and grace continued to shop ard. i bought a hair clip. den i went to buy candy mix. hahaz.. i somehow like to eat candy mix these few daes. =) bought quite alot of sweets for tml consumption mahz.. hahaz.. we walked frm heeren to far east and paragon.. walk till grace n my legs r aching.. den we went home at ard 4pm.

Ard 6pm, wee kim sms me asked me go downstairs meet him to take sth. he passed me a plastic bag. not sure wad's inside. i told him i nv buy him anything and i said thanx to him. i avoided eye contact. den i turned and took lift lia0z. reached home le den i realise he gave me flowers made frm plastic. there were 6 blue roses. but there r not real... ha|z.. i prefer real roses although they cant last. i bet he doesn't noe the real meaning of plastic flowers? i heard tt plastic flowers= fake.. well... i shall not elaborate further. depends on how u all look at it. other than tt there's a letter.. made me sad to read the contents. still got a hedgedog carrying a heart shape wif words "i love u".. haiz. all's over le. i wun tink so much abt it.

At night, after eating dinner, i went off to buy chocolates for my class ppl to share. but den grace and huiling said they not going to cross country tml leh. den left me alone? how???? shld i go or not? i duno lehz... no one pei me i wun go lor. so sianz. how ar? but i quite of feel like going lehz. i mean, isn't it stupid to stay home on a v dae morning? ok mayb not going sentosa to date.. but going there to breathe fresh air? ok i tok rot. but i m not anti-cross country.. l0lz.. nvm.. i shall see h0w.. later den decide.. when huiling decide she going or not first.. hahaz..

Juz now YC was v er xin. we were discussing whether is he ugly frm a gal's perspective and m i ugly frm a guy's perspective in msn. den tok until to a pt he told me "actually i dun fall in love easily. so, hoiching, dun waste u and my time" WTF??? i like him ? i nv once like him l0r.. -.-''' and he tok until like he some yandao tt i muz like him?? ok i did sae he's not ugly. well, at leAst one dun puke looking at him, i've seen worst. but tt doesn't mean i like him ritE??? i hate to b accused... i rather like my computer than him!!!!! ar.. it doesn't pay to b kind. haiz.. i m feeling v disgusted n0w l0r. if i wan t0 like, i might as well g0 like 0ther yanda0s.. =P

ok le la. i m feeling v disgusted. i dun wan tok anymore. i go off liaoz. niteZ

Todae is a v short dae. 12.10pm dismiss le. hahaz.. todae's assembly was boring lah. sth abt blood donation ting. hmm.. i tinking of donating blood.. but duno can or not. anywae, todae was quite a fun dae ..

After sch todae, huiling, grace and me alk out of sch together. we saw yong cheng on the wae out. he started asking us sth abt a gal in our class. names shall b kept confidential.. l0lz.. den we started gossiping lia0z.. yong cheng met up wif Ian and passed him our sch pe shirt, den after tt Ian went off le. den we started talking all sorts of nonsense liaoz.. abt all those ppl we noe? hahaz.. 4 cchsm ppl gossiping under a void deck.. illegal gathering? l0lz.. jk lah. anywae i found out who yc like. interesting hor? =X the 4 of us actually gossip for abt 2 full hrs under void deck lor. duno how come we haf so much to gossip wan. i cant belief we actually tok for so long.. l0lz.. but its really interesting. its nice to noe abt other ppl's stuff.. =)

After tt yc was complaining tt he wanted to go home liaoz.. so abt 2.10pm we took bus home. l0lz.. i took 133 to bugis to meet weekim. yes, weekim, not dear. broke up le. i tink ppl already v bored abt it liaoz. we keep break n patch. but tis time i m not too keen on patching, though v dae is near n i dun wan spend it alone. but i realli cant stand it. dun realli wan to tok much abt him n me liaoz.. we only went to eat mos burger and go home after tt. i forbid him to send me home. he insisted. i was giving attitude. i told him we're not the same anymore. pissed off le la.

Econs test on fri. i still haven study. still slacking. nvm la. heck liao la. huiling sae she not going sch tml. meaning i left alone? hahaz.. nvm.. i will find company wan.. gtg watch tv le.. bYeZ..

Todae is tuesdae. haha, i m speaking the obvious. =X Lessons todae were quite fun overall. Enjoyed myself todae. Geography lecturer said nxt week got phy geo test. my gosh! i dun even understand much abt wad was being taught, how to pass my test. haAz.. Die liao lor.. Fridae got econs test i still haven study for it also.. l0lz..

Heard from hUiLinG t0dae tt wY lost her wallet.. hmm.. hope tt she will take it easy.. hopefully if the wallet is lost it can be found ? *prAyS f0r wY* Todae sch dismissal time is 2.10pm. After tt went out wif grace to bugis and eat long john silvers. Ate combo 2 wif coleslaw. Eat till quite full. After tt we went bugis and walk walk lor.. Went into Edge's 77th street and saw shih jie working there.. she seemed to haf change a little, i tink more pretty le ba. Y everyone becoming more pretty and me more ugly? ha|x..

After walking ard wif grace, we went hme respectively. den i 7plus pm went slp liaoz.. woke up only at 9pm. hahaz.. how pig... =D Anywae, told grace abt sth todae.. dun intend to mention here.. coz i tink if i talk here v boring lah.. nth more to update abt todae. wow, my dae is v boring lehz.. filled wif nth wan. =X ok le lahz.. shall go watch tv liaoz.. niteZ..

Todae was a long dae at sch. monday somemore.. todae sch dismissed at 2.40pm. Plus 1st 3 periods are PE.. ha|x.. s0 tireD.. Todae gals r supposed to run 8 rounds.. i tink i completed 8 rds, not too sure also.. but my legs r aching like hell now.. haAz..

Anywae, todae's lessons were quite boring. well, which dae isn't? haAz... got maths test todae. i 4g0t t0 bring my calculator to sch todae..!!! luckily huiling saved my day. she brought an extra one for me.. thaNx aL0t!!! =) i tink i can still cope wif the maths test. at least i din leave any blanks, but den i duno my ans correct or not. h0pe can pass.. hahaZ~ Last lesson of the dae is geo tutorial. the teacher sounds so fierce and were quite hostile wor.. -.-'''

Heng todae ended quite fast. after sch i went J8 wif huiling to haf lunch. We went the food junction to eat. she ate duck noodles while i ate chicken rice. den we went to mini toons to buy sweets for tml.. hahaz... =D Den we juz went home lor. nth much liaoz..

When i reached home i bathed and start to watch tv. feel like slping but den i noe i cant slp or else i cant slp again tonight.. wasnt quite in a good mood these few days. but i guess its nth big lahz.. so wun talk abt it also.. Tt's abt all for todae.. gTg already.. nitEz..

Todae was a long day. Woke up at 10+am.. mummy was nagging at me to wake up to go for morning tea. She asked my auntie along todae.. I went bathe and after tt we went chinatown to eat. We took NEL but it was faulty? i duno lah, juz stopped for a good 10+mins b4 it started moving. in e end my mum and i was late.. =S Went YUM CHA restaurant to eat.. ordered quite alot of food.. the two women was v enthu in eating mahz.. HaHaX.. =D

Ate until abt 1pm den pay and go off le. after tt my mum and i went walking ard in chinatown b4 heading over to my auntie's hse.. (my dad's sister) Coz we nv go there on new yr, so now muz go lor. we sat there and chat la.. talked abt this and tt.. women like to gossip u see.. l0lz..

We watched abit of tv and went home. Den mummy suggested to go da bao dinner.. h0h0z.. bought some satays n mee rebus for dinner.. tirED lia0z ar.. t0dae reali a long dae lor.. nite time only watched tv and tt's all liao. sianz.. so fast sat is gone le.. soon haf t start a new week again.. n0t l00king f0rward t0 it aRhZ..

Ok liao la, nth much to update. go off le.. *yAwNzZz*

Wow, abt 3 weeks nv blog already. Nth much to blog nowadaes.. sch is quite boring. Everydae also do the same things.. go to sch, dismiss, go home/go out, watch tv and slp. LoLx... i tot all seniors sae jc life v stressful, but how come my sch so lousy? mayb coz lousy sch wun haf stress? haiz.. no choice lor.. bear wif it. i think i m feeling more n more like going to polytechnics..

Ok. i shall talk abt my weeks.. I cant rmb much. only my bdae was over.. on 22nd jan. received presents frm several frenz.. thanx every1~ =) den new yr oso v busy. everydae also tired, so no time to actually blog la. This yr nv receive much hong bao money.. well.. nvm i guess..

I really haf no idea wad else to update. Mayb more abt my dae~ HappY bDaE wAnyI~!~!~ =) Todae's wanyi bdae.. oh, and my mama's bdae as well.. Mummy sae todae wan go eat dinner outside, but last min not free, so changed tml? but todae nv go out celebrate wif WanYi.. s0rrY!! i din haf time.. v sorrY~ h0pe u wun angry wor..

At nite watched tv. Den come online. Decided to blog after not blogging for sooooooo long.. hahaZ... but realised tt there's nth much to talk abt todae.. so i gotta stop here liaoz la.. cYa.. tAtAz ppL.. taKe cArE~