This is going to be a long post due to lack of updates. I just want to blog things down for memory sake.
After my last day of work, went to be a promoter for EYS's herbal spa products. 5 days. Average of 12.5 hours per day. Enough to kill me. =X
Sales wasn't good at all. People who come aren't really interested with what I was promoting. Or maybe it's just that I am not good enough to convince them. Things were so much different from what it was at SITEX 2005.
Maybe I was there to sell leaflets rather than products. =( I really did my best, but I am still disappointed with myself.
Met several people there, even poonie came and find me! =) Thanks "darling". Saw mablerine and huiting there too! I also saw sini and her boyfriend. Hehe, they still so sweet from what I saw last time! =P
My colleague refused to believe that I am single though I repeated like a thousand times. =X What's there to lie about anyway? She was teasing me that since all my friends got "a-bing-ge" boyfriends I should grab one too~ -.-'''It's not like going shopping where you just purchase any item that u fancy. A relationship is a two-way thing. I am just not good enough for anyone.
After the 5 day roadshow, I continued being a promoter, but for another kind of roadshow. After surviving the 5 day roadshow, what else can bring me down? It's worse than working at SITEX. I never once boarded a bus and fell asleep within a minute. I almost thought that I might faint anytime during the last day. =X
I was really not in my tip-top condition. Day 1: bad hair day. Day 2: freckles seem to bother me. Day 3: eyes were damn swollen and red. Day 4: dark eye circles. Day 5: everything was wrong.
Daddy threatened to throw away my hammie on the night of day 2. He was actually carrying the cage to throw already. It's just because I didn't allow him to touch the hamster after he smoked. It was a bad night. Things turned out to be VERY ugly. I screamed at him and he scolded me bitch for a million times. Who in the hell would scold his own daughter that? I had no idea why he wanted to throw my hamster away. All I wanted to was to protect my hamster. My hamster is the only thing I have now. I don't want it to come to any harm.
I don't want to remember anything else about that night. I cried till late night, hugging my hammie cage in the living room. I think my eyes were swollen because of all the crying and lack of sleep.
Sometimes I had the urge to give away my hamster. I really don't know how to protect it. I just want my hamster to be healthy and safe, but why must daddy always torture it? Even kor kor isn't as evil as daddy is. Nobody saw what daddy did to hammie.
I don't ever want to get married with someone like daddy. He's hopeless. He can even say to me: "You won't be able to get married because even an indian wouldn't fuck you."
He's lucky I am not violent. Korkor would have punched him. That's for sure.
I get easily uncertain in relationships because of what I saw at home since young. But I don't blame my family. All these actually made me stronger.
Something on the lighter note, korkor got a new girlfriend again! =X I haven't seen her before. I wonder when can he settle down~ =X
By the way, I am going to genting with poonie end of June! Hope can push forward to end of May! Can't wait for it to come! =)
Last day of work.
Time for me to rest my brain and body. =)
Time passed rather quickly today. It was almost a bad last day for me. >.< Can't be bothered to explain. It's only a temp job so I shouldn't put in any feelings at all.
Since it's the last day of work, so I brought my digicam along thinking of taking pictures with my colleagues.
I only took one pic in the end. -.-
josephine.me
Pathetic.
Nobody else wanted to take pic with me! Sad!
They kept pairing up this guy and me. It's really not funny.
I don't mind guys who are older than me by alot, but he doesn't like me. I also don't have that kind of feeling for him and the feeling is mutual. That's all. What if he has a girlfriend already? It sort of makes things awkward. I might end up losing another person to crap with.
But something set me thinking. What do I want in a guy?
Good question.
I have no idea.
Age? Looks? Character? Feelings?
I guess feelings are most important for me.
Thought of the day : I am like a turtle in life. Slow and retarded. It hurts more to find out the truth myself.
Haven't been updating for a week or so.
Had a bad throat last week and lost my voice on wednesday. Might as well since there's no point in me talking or not. But the most funniest thing was that I have to coach the store supervisor on that dreadful day which I lost my voice.
Went out with the gals on sunday. We just went to eat and shop shop around. It's like the only day when I can rest and sleep longer. But it's alright, I will be able to sleep longer once my job is over.
There are many things which I wanted to blog about. But once I said things out, it won't sound nice anymore. So I shall just shut up and pretend that I don't know anything.
Was rather pissed off today during work. This has got nothing to do with anybody else and it's only my own fault. I repeat, MY OWN FAULT.
It's nobody's fault that I am being treated as a rubbish bin again. Just blame myself for being unlikable. Just blame myself for not being pretty enough.
Things can be so unfair. Just because I am not a guy, my family members treated me differently. I was made a replacement for another girl when she fell ill during primary school. Just because I am not good enough, I was made a substitute several times. Even my own best friend cast me aside when she got her boyfriend. Yes, I know this is going to sound childish and stupid, but I am only human. I have feelings too. Please do respect me no matter how imperfect I am.
When a pretty girl is upset, everybody will ask after her. When the same thing happens to an ugly one, do you think anybody will care? Nope. This is the cruel reality.
I have nobody to turn to, hence it results in this stupid entry. I need somewhere to vent my frustrations.
Bad monday again.I wished my babysitter was still around. She would never forget my food preferences. =(
Been a spoilt brat this morning again.
Scolded mummy for buying the wrong lunch for me. =X She bought vegetarian noodles for me, but she added those char siew and dou fu skin which I hated alot. =X
She claimed that I didn't tell her I don't like those stuff. All I could reply was that she never once listened to me. =( Did she ever bother which kind of food I like and which I didn't? Nope.
She always buy white fried carrot cake and white chicken rice for me. All because her son likes them. But I don't.
My babysitter would never commit these kind of stupid mistakes. Moreover, I have told my mum thousands of times that I don't like those food. Did it ever get into her brain? Nope.
Maybe bacause I am stupid thus she don't care about me. Ya, it must be like this.
What a good start to a monday having a lunch that I don't like. Plus I am a fussy eater.
What's more stupid was that I am having a bad throat, which means I can't eat. =( How can I be happy when I can't eat? =(
I dread working. I have nothing to do. (If not why would I be blogging?) I have to teach the supervisor how to do my duties. If anything goes wrong, it's my fault. I am idling around, it's my fault again. 1 more week before I go off. I hate this kind of mixed feeling.
Another issue which makes my monday more bad. He said we could be friends even after breaking up before we were together. I trusted that statement. But now, what I see is like we are just strangers.
Are things so ugly that we can't even be friends? It is not that I don't want to remain as friends, but maybe it's because I am just stupid that nobody wants to be my friend.
Whenever I am around, he won't be there. Even when I open my mouth to ask him to turn up for my bday chalet, he refused to and gave a thousand of excuses. Tell me how am I supposed to interpret this behaviour. I don't think he even know what birthday present they shared for me. I may seem like nothing had happened but I do care, I don't want to lose a friend.
But the fact is clear. I have already lost a friend.
Blame it on myself.
I am just not good enough to be anybody's friend.
This guy in the store screamed at me just now. Thank you for waking the sleepy me.
I should be given this kind of treatment just because I am stupid.
