Before I log in, I got tons of things I want to blog abt. But once I log into blogger, I can't remember what I wanted to type. I stayed home these 2 days, trying my very best to mug. But things don't seem to be very successful.

I m still lagging behind alot of stuffs.. I don't understand why am I so slow in studying. I seriously need to concentrate !!!!! I muz reduce the no of hrs of slp I get each day so that I can haf more time to study. There's less than a week to promos and I haven finish studying half or even 30% of my promos syllabus. Haix..

Blog abt sth else. Sometimes I wonder what is my problem. I haf a bad-temper and I alwaes tend to blame others whenever sth goes wrong. WHEN AM I GOING TO CHANGE? I must learn to control my temper, after so many days of staying at home, I've come to realise that happiness in life isn't totally abt me being happy. It is learning to give in to others and make others happy. I will definitely learn to put myself in other ppl's shoes n control my temper... *HoPe I cAn sUccEeD*

No, I shouldn't be here at all. I should be studying in my room, not watching news nor blogging!!! =X Haix, I should feel guilty, I din really accomplish much revision this weekend. Haix, another weekend wasted.

Let's see. Yesterday I was down with gastric pain again. Actually it started on friday. After school I went out with wy, yilin, yexian, allan, rachel and chenyu to bugis there. We went sim lim to change yx's mp3 player coz cannot charge. HaHax. =X After tt walk abit den I was feeling v hungry, maybe due to the fact that I din had a heavy lunch. But its all due to my medication that causes me to lose my appetite. =( So pain lo, while walking with the others to bras basah popular it was hurting like mad. By the time I reached home, I can only puke out my dinner (BK Big Fish Meal). Haix.

The pain continued till saturday morning and I din turn up for BP mentoring. Feel so damn guilty, but then it hurts.. *gUiLtY* I also puked out my lunch on sat, yucks. I hate gastric.

Tt's abt all for sat. I din manage to revise my work coz of gastric lahx. Todae I finally recover liaox, Loo Kit and Rebecca came to my hse to do pw. We REALLY GOT do ok, but we ended up watching Resident Evil 2 DVD of my kor's. =) But den it's not as nice as I tot it would be le. =(

They left at ard 1pm after finishing the bee hoon soup my mama cook for them =) Hope they like it HeHex. Ok le, I am supposed to come online to do pw!! Not blog! TaTax.. *My tagboard is soooooo quiet... ppL help to tag ok?* =)

Quite a while since i blogged. Nth much to blog. Fell sick yesterday morning. Had a TerriBLe headache. So din go sch yesterday. Went doc n he oso duno wad's wrong with me. Although its not my first time getting this kind of headache, but the doc oso duno wad went wrong. Haix. He gave me one day MC.

I slept thru' the whole day and i tot all will b ok. I came online at night to finish up PW report 2nd draft. My headache comes back. Sux.. Sux to the core. I duno wad's wrong. The pain is so unbearable that I can only cry in mama's arms. I wished my head can explode so that I wun haf to bear the pain anymore. =S

This morning oso nv go school coz I still feel like vomitting and my headache is still as bad. Ha|X... Tt's abt all.. tml still got chem test. I muz go study already. I wasted so many days at home sleeping. TaTax

So damn bloody mad today. Actually it's all thanks to myself. I tried to change my HP PIN code last night. But I don't know what did I press wrongly, and suddenly got "Enter PUK" appear. I panicked.

I went to check the HP instruction manual, but then it write there PUK code is provided by my network supplier. I was like.. DotZ.. I didn't know what to do mahx.. I thought they meant the preset password in my HP, so I key that in loh. But who knows, the next thing that happened was that my HP is blocked. Or rather my SIM card is blocked. I can only call out SOS call. What the.. Yes, it's all thanks to myself, this bloody brain of mine that is so stupid that block my own SIM card. Haix. Wad to say?

I called Singtel this morning only to realise that I have to go down Hello! shop to replace my SIM card. =X But today no one pei me go out and my mama also not at home, so I think I have to wait till tml to change my SIM card. Haix, so ppl pls do not call or sms me till monday coz my SIM card is blocked. Thanks. Gtg and watch tv le. Bye.

I met a very very weird person today. I was on bus 31 tis morning to school. There was no more seats left so I had to share seats with an indian man. That indian man is abit plump, so he took up more than half the seat and he sat inside. NO, this is not a racist entry. The main story isn't abt the plump indian man. Ha.

I dun remember when did this middle-aged uncle board the bus, but he board the bus anyway. Like I said before, the bus is v crowded, so he had to stand. Just nice he stood beside me. He was holding a plastic bag on his left hand. Ok, the following part is difficult to visualise, but I try my best to describe.

He was leaning against me. It's as if his whole body weight is on me. =S Initially I tot he did that coz of the bus movement and he can't balance himself, but I was wrong. He leaned against me even though the bus is stationary. WTH. I tried my best to move inwards and sit closer to the indian man. But as mentioned above, he was plump, so I can't move too inwards also.

So I decided to pretend I doesn't know that middle-aged man is leaning against me. I faced downwards and close my eyes. But it got worst. That man was gripping my arm with two fingers of his left hand lightly. I dislike this feeling!!!!! So I try to move my arm and change my sitting position. But that man was getting more and more bold. *It is getting abit gross, u can stop reading if u dun wish to* He actually use his fingers to poke my body. He was poking the part at the back of my arm which is covered by my uniform and bra. *WTH* Den his fingers start to move to the front and poke my arm and moving towards my breast part. Shit him. I juz move my arm hoping to get rid of his fingers. But he didn't stop. My blood was boiling already so I just look up at him and diao him. His fingers immediately moved away from my arm area. I tot it was over, but when I wasn't looking up at him, he started his "fingers action" again.

I had to keep figeting around to prevent his fingers to touch my breast. WTH. Luckily he found a seat and moved away from me. *PhEw* He is such a pervert old man!!!!!! When I alight the bus, I turned and look at him, he gave me that kind of smug look on his face. WTF. He is such a bloody old man.

Ok, I should stop cursing him. But I can't seem to control myself. *wTf*

Actually nth much to blog. Coz I m neither studying nor spending time wisely. <--- As in for entertainment purpose. =D LoLx. Let me think.. This is my third day staying at home. How exciting. =S Holidaes are meant to be used for recharging and entertainment. But I only fulfil the "recharging" part.

Oh, I lost my chopsticks from precious moments. Haix, I was eating lunch yesterdae and I put the chopsticks into the packet n threw EVERYTHING away!!! Wad is this? How stupid can a person get? =X Nvm lor, I shall get another new pair den. It's not as if it's the last pair, but I juz can't believe how dumb I was.

I have been slacking these few days. I din study much, how great is that? Sure to fail promos liaox. I will try my best to study.. Shall not blog anymore. Bye

Ok, tis pic is my 1st 3 mths class. Ok I know my sentence got problem. But I juz duno how to phrase it properly. Date: 14th Feb 2004. Hmmm, maybe I should start naming them. From left to right.
Row 1(squating down): Calvin, Yong Cheng, Hui Xiang.
Row 2: Aik Lim(squating down), Magdaleine, Chor Hui Ling, Kai Wei, Wee Lai.
Row 3: Raygenius, Jun Wei, Hoi Ching(me), Xin Yi, Wai Ling, Melissa, Shin Ling, Han Mei, Patricia.
nYjC cLAsS 4A4B 


This pic obviously is HuiXiang n YongCheng. Hahax, I wonder y are all the guys so open nowadays? =X Nvm, it's only meant as a joke. =D LoLz.
hUiXIAnG n yOnGcHeNg 


Those were the days. I still remembered we had alot of fun on that dae. It was such an unforgettable day, we had our cross country run on that dae, and I mixed ard with the other gals frm my class whom I usually dun mix ard with. They were a bunch of crazy gals, yes, real crazy. We can juz go into the waters at siloso beach in our clothes with no dry clothes nor towels at all. =D But those days are really gone, we can no longer find back those fun and laughter anymore. Like Yong Cheng always liked to say: "It's first 3 mths wad." I hoped those friends of mine are getting along fine wherever they are. =)

LEAF departure is because of WIND pursuit... or because TREE didn't ask her to stay...

TrEe

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a nice figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted ather and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

LeAf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

wInD

Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The
senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Everytime, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay..

cHeN yU & yU bO 


Yep, tt is the pic I wanted to post last time.. Dun they look sWeEt?? =X Fancy two guys "sleeping together"! Wahahx.. sHhHhx.. ChEn yU will kill me if he noe I post tis pic up.. =X

Had a long dae today. Woke up at 10am and went out to meet wanyi, rachel and yilin to study at esplanade library. But I was abit late as usual. =X Paiseh pplz..

We found some seats by the window, so we settled there n took some score books to "read", actually we use it to cover lahx. =X Wahahax, those librarians are getting more and more busy I suppose(as exam period draw near). But we changed place to the cafe there to study. Wanyi and I bought noodles in miso soup and drink to eat first. Quite of cheap, cost us $5, not a price u can find at cafes rite? =) Den we study, or did we? =P We talked more than we study I tink. But I suppose I am the one who talks the most, coz we were gossiping all the time, haix, duno y will lidat? We r supposed to study but we ended up crapping. HahAx..

We left at ard 5pm lidat, they all managed to complete something, but I din? I only read 2 pages of my LEP xiao shuo. HAix, how great.. Why m I so lousy? Why I so bad cannot concentrate? Haix, I suppose it takes some time to adapt back to e lifestyle of mugging in grp wifout chatting. I will do it, I can concentrate wan.. =S

After tt we went nydc for dinner. Hmmm, nice wor. I had baked pasta n ice lemon tea. Its quite nice, except I had to put alot of cheese coz the pasta itself dun haf taste? No lah, I tink it's coz I like cheese too much .. =) heEhEez.. We aLso crapped as usual during dinner, WahaAx.. Nice crapping wif them. But the meal cost me $17 bucks, abit xin tong coz i might end up eating shit for tis week. =X I muz refrain frm spending liaox!! Yes, I muz refrain frm spending.. *eViL gRiNz*

Anywae after dinner we went walk round fountain of wealth n splash abit of water on each other~ =P *ChiLdIsH* Den we sat n see scenery for awhile before leaving. I waited vvv long for bus 133 coz I missed one bus mahx.. Haix. Tt's abt all lia0x lor.. Reached home bathe n come online liaox. Muz study tml aR..

Hmm.. update my blog at such time. When I still haf to go out early morning tml!!!! Shit, I need to slp lor. I juz changed my blogskin juz now. Hope it looks fine.. Pls gif me comments k? Anywae it's not done by me lah, taken frm blogskins.com, but I dun rmb taken frm who, so nv put credit.. paiseh, but muz make sure others noe its not done by mE... WaHAHa..

LAtE le.. really muz slp lia0x.. nitE..

Boring weekend. Start of sep holidaes le. =) Finally I can slp till anytime I wan to already. =) Wad a grt feeling.

I did nth yesterdae and todae. Juz stayed home to watch tv n eat n slp. Supposed to start studying but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to sit down n study. I will alwaes walk ard e hse, watch tv, eat, slp.. Instead of studying. Die le, still got alot of tings I haven even study yet, duno how m I supposed to catch up with work. I dun wan 2 fail, I noe I haf 2 put in effort, but den how come I got no motivation??? Haix.. Life is seriously out of focus for me.

I need motivation!!!!! Help!!!! I muz study vv hard for promos n pass wif average grades k. I must not fail. ALthough I dun mind repeating yr 1 n build a stronger foundation. =X Sux. Y m I telling myself it's ok to retain???? ShiTxX.. And why m I talking to myself??? Oh my, I really gone crazy. =S

Tml I still need to go back sch for pw meeting wif teacher, hope it will turn out well. *PrAyZ haRd* Shall go off n slp now le ba.. TaTAx..

Here to update again~ Ok, tis post is supposed to be dated on 1st Sep. But i was too busy then n din want 2 bother blogging abt it at all. But now its finally e holidaes le~ So i can update abt it lia0x..

That dae we went out to watch movie.. CY, YL, WY and me went to watch anacondas 2. Not sure if the spelling is rite or not, i m lazy to check. Hmm.. even the details i oso abit lazy 2 type out.. Lolz.. if wanna noe can link to wanYi's blog n read k? LoLZ ... =D

Anywae, when we went mos for dinner on tt dae, I queued for my food.. i turn back 2 .. I dun remember why i turn my head back for. But guess who I saw? I saw someone who LOOKS like MeLviN.. YEs, Melvin. But I din see him for quite some time already so I can't really recognise him. But his basic features n height is still there. Although I cannot confirm is it him or not, but I sorta got the feeling it is him.. After all, he was impt to me in the past for a certain period of time.

After I bought my food, I wanted to see him for another time to make sure I din recognise wrongly, but too bad I can't find him anymore. FAtE? Maybe, haix, why is it that I dun get the chance to see him again? Hahax, actually I oso quite confused, why do I wan 2 see him for? But the feeling of getting to bump into him again was really nice ba, he seems to noe who I am but den again there is an uncertain look in his eyes. Hmm, actually I shld not care anymore le lah, maybe I wan to bump into him again coz I wan him to gif me back my confidence.. Wad do I really want...???

Ok le lah, I tink I m really crapping le.. GtG Liaoz.. Tata..

Hmm, below is the pic i took with wy, yl and cy when we went out yesterdae to watch movie.. update more tml.. now going to slp le.. TaTaz..

MoViE oUtInG 

dISnEY fAIr.. 


HeHe.. Finally learnt how to post pics on my blog!!! Thx to wY.. YeP.. 3 cheERs 2 wANyI~ =) tHx aLot man.. aNywae..posted tis pic coz i like it bA... to remind myself of yanfen n mindy.. (as if i will forget them in e first place) HeHe.. ok .. i shall try to post more pics.. tAtA..