Shall update a short post for today.

Met the principal today. Nothing much. She never scold or anything, but she is going to "ground" me in the school library during weekdays. OMG, GROUND me. Even my mummy doesn't do that to me, why must I be treated like that? No choice, didn't do well for JCT. But the time is scary. I have to stay in the library to study EVERYDAY till 7pm before I can go home. 7pm wor!!! =( Anyone willing to pei me?? SiGh~

Miss Wong's commented that I have irregular attendance. Is she in her right mind? I stopped ponning lessons long time ago, don't know what's wrong with her eyesight!! =(

As usual, Mr Ho and Mr Chan's comments were the same.

Mrs Lim have an oily nose. =P

Working hard isn't enough, tutors knew I am hardworking, but what's the use? I didn't use the right methods. *praY harD hArd*

I must learn to study the right way, and spend more time concentrating on my studies. So pardon me if my mood gets weird sometimes and decided to keep quiet. I have more than enough pressure being exerted on me, so if u are going to exert more pressure on me, please get lost. Else dun blame me for being rude.

There's going to be a lot of tests next week, so I think I better stop blogging and start to go study now. TaTax.

"Superstar" was on tv last night!!! It was really an enjoyable thing to hear the contestants sing with good voice. I have to admit some of them really have a good voice, though one of them who was said to look like teddy bear =X raps in a funny way. I was laughing non-stop while listening to him rap. Ok, I shall keep my comments to myself, after all, he should be complimented for his courage to take part in "SUPERSTAR" this kinda contest.

Maths lecture test yesterday. Don't hope to fail, but if I do, then there's nothing I can do either.

Going to meet the principal tml noon. Wish me luck. Even though I have my mummy to shield me from being scolded excessively, but I still feel a little uneasy about the matter. Nevermind, I shall think positive. Happy or not, what's done is done! =) *cheer up*

Life is so boring! I need something fun to spice up my life!!! HaHax, I don't know what can be done. Even going to the movies can't cheer me up. =X

Went to watch "The Island" on monday with wy, zg and cy. We went to cathay cineleisure to watch. The show was not bad, I will give it a rating of 3.5/5 stars. Wanted to give it 4 stars but it was a little too long, so deduct 0.5 stars away from it.

Kor's gf was here yesterday again. She packed away my newspapers!!! Untouched ones somemore~ Oh my, she really is.. too neat for me or my family. =X

My mum told me last night that kor said that he doesn't really like that vietnam girl. I was like.. DotZzzz.. I thought he loved her a lot, looking at the amount of money he spent on overseas phone calls to her. >.< But he said he doesn't really like her, haha. Poor girl. I still remembered my previous entry abt her was about her being my kor's gf NOW. Now who knows what will happen? =X Most probably he has someone else in mind already, luckily not all libra guys are like him!

Well, there's going to be "Superstar" on tv later on! Must go catch it. Hope the girls will perform better than the guys! =)

Update more tml.

Couldn't log into blogger ytd. Hence forgot to blog.

Went for maths remedial and wasted a good an hour plus there. Have to do three maths problems but in the end xiao di n I left without finishing all the problems. Coz we didn't know how to do and the teacher didn't go through either. Sianed.. Wasted my time.

After that went for dinner. Looks like got to start saving hard nxt week too. Coz bought prelim papers and my dad isn't back in sg yet, so used my allowance for it.

On the train home ytd, I met a srtange uncle. I was standing near the train door and he was about to alight the train. He stood v close to me. The train was not very packed, I didn't know why he wanted to stand that close. Then he change the position of his hands suddenly. His elbow was about to hit my breats, so I lift my mag (I was reading mag that time) up to prevent myself from being hit. He STARED at me. I'm not sure why he stared at me, after all, my magazine didn't hit him or obstruct his way. I was standing behind him, not in front of him.

What's wrong with that kind of uncles??? I was only trying to protect myself, there's no need to stare at me with eyes that look like they are about to pop out. =X I may be thinking too much, but his expression somehow made me feel uncomfortable. I posted about one weird uncle on bus 31 sometime ago, so this time I am not going to be stupid and do nothing while weird uncles continue being weird.

It isn't my fault that I am that short and fat and one's elbow can easily come into contact with my body. *screams*

Forget it, nobody will believe me anyway.

Spent my time watching lots of tv today. Felt so guilty. Shall go and study later. =)

Life's pretty dull, everything becomes a rountine nowadays.

But something delightful happened the other day. The "Superstar" programme. Derrick and Kelly got into the semi-finals during the rivival round!!!!! *ChEErS* The results were satisfactory, at least to me. =) Was so scared when they were announcing the results, for fear that derrick n kelly will be kicked out. waHaHAhAz.. JiayOu wor! =)

Ok, shall go and watch more tv now. =X

My day started out badly. =( Imagine only having $2 to spend in school per day. How great yea..

Of coz it made my mood super bad. It's like, if I eat, I can't buy drinks. If I drink, I don't have enough to eat.. *Argh* What's worse is that there is Maths remedial with Mr Ho, known for screaming at us de "violent" maths tutor. =X

But after lunch my mood became better. =) Went to donate blood for the first time in my life~ =))

The nurse said it's ok to have a minor cold as long as I am not under medication. I passed the weight test too. If u all know, there's a rule saying one must weigh 45kg and above to donate blood. Don't ask me why I weigh that much, I am not sure either. =X I am not that heavy on other weighing machines de.. =P Nvm abt the weight la, wad's impt is I donated blood. =D HaHaHa

Was getting more and more tensed as it was my turn to donate blood. Saw yilin's disgusted face. Leonard screamed when the needle poked into his arm, he isn't scared, he just did that to scare me coz I was sitting beside him. =X
=X

When it was my turn, as usual I chose not to look at the needle and the nurse. So I looked away and she poked it in. ITS NOT PAIN. Diaox..Don't understand why must leonard scare me. I only felt a strong gush of blood flowing out, or sth lidat. But the process was damn fast. It's done in abt 5mins. I didn't look at my own needle from the start till the end, it was chen yu who scared me by saying the needle is THICK. LoL.. 4 of us went to sign up (chen yu, rachel, yi lin and me) but only yilin and me passed all the tests and donated blood.

After the donation, Cy and I went for maths remedial. Mr Ho's mood today was better, he didn't scream at us at all. =) Spent some time doing maths tutorial. He's such a pleasant tutor today~ =)

Remedial ended early at 4.30, so cy and I went home lo.. No money for anything else. *sigh*

Hope tml will be a better day~ =)

It was xiao di's bday last sunday. The lyes went out to celebrate his bday with him.

Met at somerset de mrt control station. After that we went to ajisen ramen for lunch. Gave xiao di his present.. LoLz.. Hope he likes it ba~ =)

After that, rachel, yilin and I went to walk walk around orchard. DEn... we went dinner. They had cakes at nydc while I ate baked pasta. Hmm... my wallet is burnt. *ouch* =X

Monday was as usual.

Today, nothing much also. Think the bad weather makes my health bad too. But I doubt I am that sick after all. Just nose block sometimes only.

Since my wallet is burnt, I am going to save save and save. I spent 4 days of my allowance for this week last weekend. =X Thus, I am left with only 1 day's allowance for this week. *sIgh* Should have known better than to follow suit to nydc!!!! =P

Dad's gone missing again. =X He just didnt come home and I called him once on his hp, but nobody answer my call. Today, mum made me call again. Luckily he answered the phone, else mummy will bug me again.

I made a wrong guess. He didn't go china, he went KL. But he is going for abt a week plus. Hahahx, mummy say she's going to call the police if he don't answer the phone today. Mum's getting abit paranoid I guess. Well, he's her husband, though I thought she would handle it better than I do. =X

Something quite weird happened today. I don't know how to describe it here. Maybe I am thinking too much. Haha, though I hope I didn't guess wrongly. =X

Yap, muz go and do work now. Sleeping early tonight! =)

Didn't update my blog for several days. My computer died on me. Don't know what problem. So just decided to reformat the whole thing all over again.

Not sure this time who is at fault. But then daddy kept blaming kor, well, I share the same thoughts too. =X I use won't have problem de, but once he use, he always don't shut down properly de. Moreover, he scolded one of my frens on msn too. It seems like I have no more privacy liao. So this time I decided to use password and protect my files plus internet connection. =X

I sound super selfish, but then I don't want daddy to scold me for spoiling the computer all the time. *SiaNeD*

Anyway, this week nth much lah. Quite tired. Results are finalised. Don't wish to tok much abt it anymore. So don't ask le. I just wan to forget abt the past and look forward. I am going to work very hard this time. Hope that the remedials the teachers are going to give will help too!! =)

Ok already, I think I shall stop here le. Not sure what else to blog anymore. Finally had a good talk with mum. She decided to respect my decision.

Did nth much for saturday.

Felt tired for e whole day. =X

Nvm abt today lah, poonie suggested tt I should blog abt how much I love her. =) I won't today, coz I suddenly rmb sth tt happened on friday night.

I told my mum I want to retain. Of coz her reaction was to scold me. Though I don't know if e school will ask me to retain now, I told her if I continue to lose slp during prelims I won't go and take my exams and I will just ask for retain.

She don't get my point and insisted that I go to school to take exams. What's the point of doing sth when u r not confident? And what's the point of taking an exam when u don't have enuf slp? I tried that during JCT, and results show that when I don't slp, I don't think. She isn't going through what I am going through.

She told me to go and take A lvls, even though I tried explaining to her that if I fail A lvls, there's no more retaining for me.

I gave up trying to talk to her. The final decision lies on me. If I choose to retain, she just have to learn to shut up. If I am forced to retain, then the more she must shut up already.

I got so pissed off with her that I just start to scream at her again. She say my attitude sucks. Its just the same with her.

She told me to give myself less stress, I told her flat in the face that SHE is the one giving me stress. How does one concentrate when one doesn't even know if she has that kind of money for university?

My whole family seems to be in debt, except my dad. My mummy owes singtel $2000+, thanks to some BASTARD who decided to call his vietnam gf even though he doesn't have money to pay. That same bastard owes other phone companies 4-figure sum too, but that's not my problem coz that's under his name. To top it off, he decided to borrow money from loan shark, nope, I am not writing a script now. Though it isn't a big sum, he don't have money to pay.

The guy who was his guarantor (duno how to spell) came over to my hse n find him. That guy told us he was sacked from his job coz he wanted to act hero and shield that vietnam gal. Oh yeah, his love is soooooooooooo great... *puKes* He also told us my brother owes many people money, not only the loan shark. OMG, my mum nearly fainted when she heard this.

Mum told me to stop worrying for her and concentrate on studies. But, they are my family. I may hate my brother but that doesn't change e fact tt he is my brother. I just felt useless, but what's the point of telling them? I wished I can help them solve their problems, but what can I do?

What did I do to deserve such a brother? Time and again he hurt everyone in the family, causing lots of trouble for us.

How to stop worrying when the problems doesn't stop piling up.

Will someone just tell me what to do??

I am being totally honest in this entry and pardon me for some offensive words. I just needed a place to vent my anger, since there's no one I can really talk to. Its not that nobody is willing to listen, but seriously, what can my frens do if I tell them abt all these? Laugh? Cry with me? Give me a pat on my back n tell me things will be alrighT? So what? It wun help to solve matters, so there's no point in telling anyone. Blame it on myself for not knowing how to handle stress. Blame it on myself for caring for my family.

I think I need to stop already. I am only wasting my time here.

Let me think where to start blogging...

My results suck. Didn't do well for anything. Yep, have to meet principal again. I don't need to wait for my tutor to inform me, I knew what's coming along. =X

When is my result going to improve? My methods are wrong and I gave myself too much stress to the extent of losing sleep.

There are no more time left. I want to retain year 2 again. I need time. Tell me what should I do?

Watched the "superstar" results on tv last nite. OMG, derrick was out. Why??? His singing is really not bad plus he didn't get the lowest points, so maybe is just not enough votes~ DiaOx.. Chao bu shuang. As for the gals, kelly got out. Her singing is good too!!!!! And she got highest points.. Dotx.. Although she didn't perform as well ytd, but her singing is still better than the rest~

I paid attention during maths n chem lectures today. I really did pay full attention. But I think it all came too late. I can't help but think of retaining..

After school we went to KFC for lunch. Den yilin, chenyu and I went to somerset while zg n leonard went city hall and wy dar went bugis. Don't know why cy left suddenly. =X

YL n me went window shop and settled for dinner at mos. LoLx. Den we went orchard popular to buy things.. Hahahz. We spent 2 hrs window shopping, 2 hrs eating and 1 hr+ at popular. Both of us actually laughed n joked at popular.. hahaz. Maybe those people want to chase us out already =P

Today is the last day I am going to waste my time. I am going to work hard. But if I still pressurize myself that much, I am really considering to retain.. no matter how unwilling I am.

*Hoping that things will be alright*

Don't ask me how I did for JCT, risk getting your head chopped off by me.

No lah, I am only kidding.

Since I can joke, I am fine already. At least for today.

Got back two papers today. Physics and Maths.

Both dead. Maths paper was easy de, don't know what the hell was I doing when I am doing that paper!!! Haix. Result of not getting nay sleep the nite before = no brain to think.

Broke down after getting e maths paper. Everybody is doing way better than me. What's the point of studying when there just isn't any improvements??

Heard this quote from tv: ask not what the other person can give u, but what u can give the other person.

Well, a lot of things ran through my mind after I heard this quote. Mum have given me almost everything that I asked for. But it seems like I never did give her anything that she wanted. Sigh.

Think this time must meet parents again. =X Hmm, mummy said its ok and told me not to fret over results. That's because she's afraid I would go commit suicide for failing JCT ba. In actual fact, she will start blaming me when the time comes.

HaHa, mummy and my relationship is like a love-and-hate relationship. Sometimes I don't really know what she means..

How I wish things will be alright, perhaps all I wanted is just a listener.

*PRaying hard again*

Forgot to post the site that I got my test from. It's here

In case the link doesn't work, the webbie url is http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Went to queensway this afternoon with yilin and zhengang. Yap, went there to look for shoes again. My old shoe officially spoil liao. The back part dropped out le. Wahahaz..

Zg was searching for a new pair of shoes while yilin is just pulled there by me. =X

Zhengang got the shoes he wanted at $87 if I never rmb wrongly. I duno how to spell the shoe brand. =X I saw the shoes I wanted and when e shop owner told me it's going for $98, my heart melted ..

Initially decided to get the shoes nxt week when my mum have the money. So went MAC to eat n gossip. Hoho, eating always goes well with gossping. =X

After eating, I decided to go get the shoes le. Coz my mummy say I can buy it.

So the three of us went home with a happy yilin, happy me and happy zhengang.

Mummy thinks that I will throw my old shoes away since I've gotten another pair of shoes today. OMG, I love my old shoes alot. Both the purple and blue ones. Hai, looks like she still doesn't know me thoroughly enough.

Watched tv till now den decide to blog. Abit tired le. Should slp earlier today since there will be school tml. =X

*Still praying that everything will be alright*

Cool huh~ Jay is so cool!!!

Went to catch Initial D with wy n xiao di this afternoon~ There was a lot of people there~ Luckily wy booked tix beforehand, else we might not be able to catch it today.. We still spent a long time queuing to buy food.

We were 15 minutes late, but.. the movie haven started yet. OMG, thanx to Golden Village yeah? Else we will miss the front part. =X

The movie is very nice!!! This is the first time I never regret watching a chinese movie at the cinema, coz usually the vcds are out within a month~

Hahahz, jay is so cool~ Ok I know I repeated this line several times, but I can't help it! Hahah~ I especially like his -diao- look when he driving along straight paths.

A pity there are several "uncles" in the movie.. Hohoho... Especially S.Y. =X Better not spell out his name else his fans might hit me!!!

But the greatest pity was that jay n e female lead actress didn't end up together. The show ended sadly.. =(

After the movie lao pa and zhengang was playing at the arcade while waiting for cy to go play pool. Think its coz of me den wy darling cannot join them for pool.. Dui bu qi~

We pei wy go royal sporting house to look for a bag. Saw ivy there too. Its been half a year since I saw her le ba. Those good old times~

Went for dinner with wy and we gossip over dinner. =X HaHaz..

Think I'm a little tired already.. Shall post some quiz results and go off le~ NitEx~

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

The Real You
Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

What's your personality love style?
Here is the analysis:

Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally.

What type of personality do you have?
Here is the analysis:

Bright and Cheerful
You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

Your Hidden Talent
Here is the analysis:

The Mass Communicator
You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

Who is your dream guy?
Here is the analysis:

He is wild and adventurous. His path is often against the world. He does what he wants when he feels like. His type of girl is quite like him, independent and wise. If you love freedom and willing to risk, go for this guy.

YEah, finally change my blog skin already~

Saw the new blogskin of waNyi e other day and decided to change mine also~ =P But then mine is taken from blogskins website, not done by myself. I not so taleNteD..

Spent several hours changing some html codes for the blogskin even though its already preset. Hmmm, do give comments on my new blogskin ok ? ThAnX~ =)

Tml going out with wy n xiao di to watch movie~

Actually I am still quite confused about my future. I am not sure where should I head if I never pass JCT. *sigH*

I just found out that my mummy is actually very forgiving towards my kor and me. I'm quite guilty of this, coz it took me 18 years to realise that. Is that really good? I am not sure. Somehow it's making both of us to become spoilt brats.

Both of us took things for granted at home. Not all parents can accept having their children to yell and scream at them during a quarrel. Leave the quarrel part out, my kor and I can be quite rude to them at times.. or rather most of the times. =X But neither dad nor mum scold us for that.

No matter what we did wrongly, mummy is always there for us to tok to, she always shield us and protect us from harm. I mentioned several days ago that kor spent a good $1000+ on hp bills. Mum was sad for a day, but she was not angry over it. Weird huh.. Even I was madder than her. The number of wrong things my korkor did were uncountable already, or rather I forgot le. However, mummy always forgave him, and help him solve matters. When mummy can't help, daddy will solve for him.

I still don't understand why did kor spend that much on hp bills, I told my mum the other day that if their love is so strong that kor can't spend a day without toking to her, then get married lo. Else make her pregnant, then .. blah blah blah. =X Actually I wanted to ask him about it, but I just didn't dare to I suppose, I am still not on close terms with him.

Does this kind of stupidity runs in the family? I do the same things too when I am not in sg. =X But then I buy international phone cards to call back to whoever is impt, not send a huge hp bill to mummy...

Hai, mummy said this might just be the start of another series of trouble for us. How leh? Its sad to know there is nothing I can do to help. I am just that useless. It doesn't make a difference do I exist or not, since I am of no help.

Hmm, ok lah, should go and slp le. Tml going out to enjoy with wy darling n xiao di~

*Hoping that everything will b alright*

Can I pretend that nothing happened? Can I just live in a fantasy of my own?

NO. Hiding doesn't help to solve the problem. The problem still exists, acting like a brainless ostrich won't help at all.

Even if I were to face the problem, there's nothing I can do to help either. Maybe quitting school might help? Afterall I don't have brains, what's the point..

Please spare me. I do not want to start growing white hair.

Yesterday my left eyelid kept twitching..

I am tired le. Shall go watch tv to relieve stress.

Mini lyes outing today. Nope, it isn't mini. The 7 lye siblings were present, only lao pa wasn't around.

4 of them had chinese paper today, while rachel, zhengang and me went meet them around noon. Hoho, had a good night slp last nite. Slept for a good 10 hrs! LoL~

Met them at somerset there. We went to buy tix for movie.

Later on, we went to shop for someone's present. Haha, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY wu mei a.k.a zhengang! =) We bought a shirt for him. =X HaHaHaHaz, the shirt's size is the smallest liao, if its too big for him, that means he is just too slim! =X K liao, don't suan him here.

It's been a while since I went to cathay to watch movie. Hmm, felt a little weird as there wasn't much advertisments, not even enough time for us to be late! =X LoLz..

Hahahz, saw a very amusing scene in the cinema. Yilin and I went toilet mah, then on our way back, I saw a couple sitting behind us. Guess what they were doing?? They were...... KiSsiNg~ =X Not to mention they were making some noises.. LoLz, I didn't mean to see that scene. I am sorry, I am not yet 21, I should not be watching "porn". =X Nope, I am not insane, just trying to relieve stress~ I only thought that maybe they should wait for the movie to start then they start kissing? People will see de mah, den it's not nice if a young teenager sees that, bad example.. blah blah blah.

Ok lah, enough of crapping le. Think I am just being kpo. They have every right to kiss anywhere anytime they want. HaHa. =D

Had dinner at mos burger, then we started to .. gossip. Wahahz, it feels good to gossip~ It's been a month since we had a lye outing le.. or maybe longer. Not sure either.

Reached home at around 9pm. Tired~ 1 day down, there's still 4 more days of holidays~ I want to have fun till I drop dead, since it may be the last days I am going to see the lye siblings..

Finally update finish liaoz, go bathe le. TaTaz..